I think the hardest thing for a lot of men, or partners who are not physically going through the pregnancy, is connecting with their baby while still in the womb. To them, it’s easy to disconnect from it all, to forget how close they are to becoming fathers or mothers.
They can go through their whole day, go to work, think about all the little tasks that need to get done in their regular routine without even thinking about the baby that will be here all too soon. It’s not something they intentionally do, it’s not like they are purposely trying to stand on the other side of the glass looking in, but when you are not the one that is pregnant, it is easy to continue living your life even though parenthood is right around the corner.
When you are pregnant, every breath you take reminds you there is life blooming inside you. Every moment of discomfort, every flutter, every movement, every aversion to smells or cravings reminds you that all too soon, you are going to have to have a little person to take care of.
Today is Father’s Day. If I am being completely honest, Father’s Day has always just been another day to me as my father and I have not kept up a relationship since he and my mother went their separate ways when I was about seven. It was never really something I celebrated, so it wasn’t something I thought too much about.
However, since I got pregnant, today seems slightly more special. Excitement and anticipation make me want to do something for my husband, to celebrate the closing of this chapter in our life and the start of a new one.
My husband is not so open to it. He doesn’t want to celebrate being parents until the baby is here, in our arms, keeping us up and night and peeing all over us during midnight changings.
Personally, I think we are parents already.
I wondered if it was because he wasn’t pregnant, he wasn’t experiencing the all consuming things that I am. Every second seems to evolve around my pregnancy and my baby. Even the person I am seems to be shifting and changing because of it. In my mind, I am a parent now already.
I wish there was a way to wrap our partners up in everything, to get them as entangled in our web of pregnancy as we are. Maybe then, it would be easier for them to feel so connected, for them to celebrate a day that is as much for them as it is for the parents who are already chasing their little ones around.
Next year, I am going to go all out, he isn’t even going to know what to do with himself.
So to all the papas out there, Happy Father’s Day! I hope it’s a good one!